Still so confused.

It's been nearly a month and this is still so unbelievably hard. I still don't understand how he could stop caring literally overnight. Why did he feel the need to throw it out, to throw me out? It hurts so much that he's probably fine and relieved that I'm out of his life.

But of course I don't know any of this. I don't know anything since he blocked me all over the internet a few weeks ago after I emailed him asking if he wanted any of his stuff back and if he had anything that belonged to me. The last time we talked on the phone (the day after he dumped me), he claimed that he wasn't planning on dating anyone else and that he needed time to himself before we started talking again. But blocking me from contacting him (not that I would want to) seems like a pretty big "fuck you, I'm going to pretend like you don't exist.". Really, why don't I even deserve a straight answer as of what the hell is going on?

I need to move on and start dating other people. I'm going to assume that the way he handled the break up and treated me afterward means that he doesn't care if I fall off the face of the earth. If that isn't what he meant to convey, I know he'll only tell all of his friends and family that I'm a dirty slut who started dating people when he only needed his space, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to be pathetic and hung up on him when he starts dating other girls.

My dad thinks he snapped from stress. I'm starting to think that's the case as it explains the extreme decision made suddenly. Why else would you cut the person who has been your biggest supporter and best friend out of your life? Why else would he want to forget about me like that? He came out to lunch with me and my family the day before. He was talking to me about our future the day before. He ate my food, waited for Law and Order to be over, and even tried to crack a few jokes while dumping me. I don't know if it'll seem anything besides surreal.

The lack of answers has made this so much harder than it needed to be.